Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
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Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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