yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
this is an emotional support booty call
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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