So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
