yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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