dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
