Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
