It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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