You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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