Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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