Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
