the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize