I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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