then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
