Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
