Already got asked if we're dating
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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