physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
