He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
