Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
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