i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
