I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
