This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize
