Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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