you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
