This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My vagina is very pro this idea
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
