Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
