All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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