We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
