if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
