fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
