I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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