This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
