so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
