Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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