sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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