pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
