sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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