i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
