just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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