i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We got so high we made milksteak
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
