I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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