you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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