what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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