As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Actions speak louder than pants.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
