It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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