Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
