I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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