You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
