in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Congratulations! We have a period
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
