i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize