wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
