he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
