just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
