last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
