I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
