Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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