I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
