1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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