i was born a porn star she said
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
