Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Randomize
