Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
