with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
