Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
