I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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