if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.