This is not my ceiling
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize