I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You smell like stripper and shame
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Randomize
