So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize