it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize