I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
